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About Student Artist Sam (nickname)Female/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 5 Years
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This post will need some context so you know exactly what I'm going through. I wrote a post on here about two years ago that's a bit long, so I'll copy what's relevant.

"In September I told my mom I was constipated. She bought me some laxative pills to help. You don't really need details on that, so fast forward to somewhere in October and I told my mom I was still having problems. I mentioned that it was weird how I was taking pills but still seemed to be having problems, and how she should take me to the doctor. Something you should know about my mom: she puts things off and procrastinates. I might have mentioned it again but my memory is fuzzy. November we go to Ohio to visit family for a week. For that ENTIRE week I felt so shitty that I rarely got out of bed. I asked mom to please take me to the doctor when we get home. I continued to badger her to at LEAST call to make an appointment, but every time she said she could just give me an enema. It pissed me off that she would just keep throwing over-the-counter pills at me instead of doing something to actually help me. Keep in mind that at this point I was feeling so sick I couldn't eat, barely drank anything, and couldn't do much more than walk to the couch in the living room and plant myself there. A month later after the November incident my dad finally took me to a "Doc in the Box" (And I love them, if you ever see a doctor,nurse,ect. you kiss them right on the mouth.). I should mention I went the day after Christmas, only to find out the problem was I wasn't eating because of my fear of throwing up (and am still fully convinced a therapist would have caught on, had I had a therapist which my mom said she was looking into months ago.)." 

I got better physically for a short while after seeing someone, but didn't see a doctor or nutritionist for almost a year after so I slowly kept getting worse during that time. By the time I finally saw a nutritionist my body fat percentage was 12. I only saw her once (along with a therapist she wanted me to see) before my mom had a stroke. My mom made it out mostly unchanged, except for the fact the she was of the belief that I suddenly didn't have a weight issue it was all in my head. I did see that therapist a handful of times before moving again, during which she told my mom that I shouldn't exorcise because she was worried about what that would do to my heart, and that I absolutely should see my nutritionist (who I saw maybe twice after my mom's stroke.) My mom didn't believe her and kept insisting I just needed to exorcise and I'd be fine. She won't hear anyone out unless she agrees with them.

We moved and now there's a big, big problem my parents refuse to take seriously. I saw a psychiatrist a few days ago who I didn't like at all. I tried to tell her about how I was slowly becoming emaciated and how I can't even shower without being wiped out for the rest of the day (Just going to see this woman has screwed my body up a lot). She, along with my mom, are convinced I'm so weak because I'm focusing all my energy on anxiety, which is not true. I'm not anxious all the time, I know what it feels like when I'm having anxiety, and I'm pretty sure not being able to sit on anything that isn't very plushy because it hurts my butt and back too much is not caused by anxiety. I've seen this woman one time and she diagnoses me with OCD and depression, and is pushing me to take Zoloft. Not to mention she told my parents things I never told them like how I've thought of suicide and other very private things. She broke my trust immediately on top of not listening to me. I'm 18 I didn't think she was allowed to go and tell them what we talked about the entire session. She also kept going on and on about how the Zoloft will improve my life, still ignoring the fact that I don't need nor want it. My therapist I saw before said I have OCD like tendencies and had a low mood all the time, not depression, which I agree with because my parents are the reason I've never really been happy. Another problem is my dad is going to call a doctor tomorrow to see if I can get a physical soon 'cause I won't let the issue drop that I'm not healthy and I do have a weight problem, but if I can't get in soon enough he still wants me to take the Zoloft as he is afraid by the time I see the Dr again the medication won't have any effect yet so we wouldn't know if we need to switch to something else. I'm supposed to take 5-10 milligrams of Zoloft which shouldn't have any effect on someone who is healthy, but I'm not, so I don't know what it would do to me especially because I don't even need it. I'm hoping that the physical will show that I am getting emaciated and THAT is causing me issues not anxiety, but I need to convince my dad that not taking Zoloft until after the physical is not a bad thing, since we have (or had now) this deal where we'd see a doctor to make sure I was in good health before taking the meds, and if I DID have a physical problem we'd go from there.

I just don't know what to do. At this point I think I'll just end up starving to death. I don't even want to know what my bf % is. I need help but no one is listening to me.


Sam (nickname)
Artist | Student
United States
I love Owl City (a.k.a. Adam Young)
I hope to one day go to collage to learn animation.

Current Residence: My house
Favourite genre of music: Any, really. Except country
Favourite photographer: My brother
Favourite style of art: Anime
Operating System: Dell
MP3 player of choice: Ipod
Hi all! I am so sorry for not having drawn anything for a while. I have had a lot of trouble with my health since September that caused me to feel crappy almost all the time. I went to the doctors today to see what was wrong and I've been starving myself. Not on purpose mind you, it's... hard to explain actually. My body has been taking things nutrients and other important stuff from other bits of my body causing some trouble. And when I try to eat (I do so enjoy food) I felt sick so I wasn't eating, and that tends to send your body in to "Oh shit!" mode, which made my body take things to keep me going. Luckily we know about it now so I'm going to drink protien shakes so my body doesn't completely lose it's shit, and I can hopefully move to eating solid food at some point. (mom thinks I've not been feeling well eating solid foods because my body isn't used to the protien and other good stuff it gives me.) I swear to the dear Lord I didn't mean to do this to myself on purpose. But since going to the Doctor I feel hopeful that I can feel better in no time!

Exciting news! I got a laptop for Christmas! It's fairly new and not really used and I am so so excited by it! This means I can get Paintool SAI and have fun with that! I hope to get back into arting soon when I install my tablet to the laptop. Okay, I love you whoever you are!
  • Mood: Cheerful
  • Listening to: Tv
  • Reading: Jane Eyre
  • Watching: News
  • Playing: Oot 3ds
  • Drinking: Protien Shake

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GracefulShade Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2015
happy birthday!!
i hope you have a really awesome day today! Tight Hug 
NerdyAndProud Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2015  Student
Thanks so much! :glomp:
GracefulShade Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2015
no problem!! Bunny Emoji-26 (Teehee) [V2] 
Pajunen Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the :+fav:
snowball1948 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you for joining :iconouranimefamily:, where everyone here treats you just like family! :iconwave-uplz: Please submit lots of art, and I hope you make lots of new friends. Welcome to the family! :iconba-kyunplz:
OMG-ImSoAwesome Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Professional General Artist
Thank you very much for the :+fav:
Princess-Rufflebutt Featured By Owner May 18, 2013  Student General Artist
I just wanted to say thankyou for clarifying lolita fashion for me. D: I was blocked by that particular user and I wanted to scream "NOOOO THAT'S NOT LOLITA FASHION."

But I couldn't. And you did it for me. So thankyou.
NerdyAndProud Featured By Owner May 18, 2013  Student
More than happy to do it! It never bothered me at first when people misunderstand lolita and now I can't help making a list of what's wrong if they claim a drawing is lolita. I've been brainwashed! XD
Alkhymeia Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
Thanks for the Fav and the Watch :)
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